Phantom Phunnies and Parodies
by DashofLesMis
Summary: Ok so these are little bits of really phunny paraodies of phantom...mostly IMing I highly recommend you read this. :D anyways please R&R and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok so I thought this would be really funny! Not a oneshot hopefully. I want to have at least a couple chapters. The summary pretty much explains it. What would it be like if Erik and Christine could IM each other. So here ya go!(disclaimer: I do not own phantom at all or any of the characters.) Oh btw in some chapters I might divide IMS. You'll know when I divide them. Some also might be parodies. So no Iming in some parts. I will divide them and stuff…trust me you'll know when I start something new. You'll most likely know which character is which through IM. If you can't tell me in reviews.**

**Thinkofme255: Hi, Erik. Have you figured out how to type properly yet?**

**Angelofmusic: sort of. I can't figure out how to make these symbols appear1 When I press a symbol some other letter comes up111 so frustrating…do you know how to do this/**

**Thinkofme255: Hold down the shift key while pressing the symbol.**

**Angelofmusic: like this? I got it!**

**Thinkofme255: Good job.**

**Angelofmusic: WHAT DOES CAPS LOCK DO?**

**Angelofmusic: OH…**

**Thinkofme255: Only keep caps lock on for the first letter.**

**Angelofmusic: Oh ok.**

**Thinkofme255: I love you too Raoul : )**

**Angelofmusic: …**

**Thinkofme255: Oops wrong IM!**

**Angelofmusic: Now, let it be war upon you both!**

_Thinkofme255 is now away._

**/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

**Parody time! (NOT IMING!)**

**Christine: I feel like someone is watching us Raoul…**

**Raoul: We are on the Paris rooftop at 9 o'clock. No one is here with us.**

**Erik: *taps on Raoul's shoulder* Boo.**

**Raoul: HOLY SHIT! *Falls off roof***

**Christine: Oh shizz…*car alarm goes off***

**Erik: Wow, must've hit that car hard. Wanna marry me now that Raoul is out of the picture? **

**Christine: What the hell. Sure.**

**Erik: Awesomeness.**

**Christine: Raoul was a little prissy fop anyways.**

**Erik: I knew you would come to your senses eventually Christine! Now let us fly away! *jumps off roof and flies with Christine in his arms***

**Christine: I am SO marrying you now.**

**Raoul: WTF? **

**Christine: FUCK YOU RAOUL! :D**

**Erik: That's my Christine…**

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**Alright I have time for one more! Iming back!**

**Angelofmusic: I despise you…**

**Pompousprissy380: Then just delete me from your list.**

**Angelofmusic: No, then I couldn't make fun of you.**

**Pompousprissy380: Fine, have it your way.**

**Angelofmusic: I sense your Iming Christine…**

**Pompousprissy380: Nuh uh!**

**Angelofmusic: UHUH!**

**Pompousprissy380: NUH UH!**

**Angelofmusic: UHUH!**

_20 minutes later…_

**Pompousprissy380: NUH UH! **

**Angelofmusic: OMG CAN WE JUST STOP! My god…**

**Pompousprissy380: omg? Really?**

**Angelofmusic: Really. Now get out.**

_Pompousprissy380 is now away._

**Angelofmusic: Always gets to him… :D**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

**A/N: Ok hope you liked that! I know it was kinda short but I am really tired from cheerleading practice so I am going to go to bed soon. Bye! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I hope you like these parodies and Ims :D get ready for the awesome chapter EVER! I was also considering making more than just a couple chapters :D so anyways… on with the story! : ) (disclaimer: I don't own phantom or any characters!)

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Ok I think it's PARODY TIME! :D

**Erik: The Phantom of the opera is there…inside your fridge.**

**Christine: *walks and opens fridge***

**Christine: HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T THINK YOU REALLY MEANT IT! I JUST WANT AN APPLE! Plain no Punjab! **

**Erik: *tosses Christine apple***

**Christine: Thanks…*scampers off***

**NEXT!**

Christine: Nice hot pink mask! *chuckles*

Erik: My white one is being polished! *pouts*

Christine: I would say your just representing your homosexuality.

Erik: I AM NOT GAY!

Christine: True…because if you were you wouldn't stare at my boobs all day long…Don't think I haven't seen you staring at them.

Erik: WHAT? Ok that is true…

Christine: Knew it.

Raoul: Hey those are boobies only I CAN stare at!

Christine: My god! Your worse than Erik!

Erik: Haha!

Christine: -_-

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**IMING TIME! XD get ready for awesomeness!**

Thinkofme255: What's up?

Angelofmusic: The sky! HOLY SHIT I'M SO FUNNY!

Thinkofme255: That is so old…

Angelofmusic: YOU MEAN JUST LIKE YOU ARE? BAHAHAAAA!

_Thinkofme255 is now away. Forever. Way to screw it up Angelofmusic._

Angelofmusic: I didn't really mean it! Damn!

**A/N: Same skit right now just Erik talking to Nadir after talking to Christine.**

DarogathePersian: Heyyyyy

Angelofmusic: Stop acting like your actually cool Nadir…

DarogathePersian: Is something' wrong dog?

Angelofmusic: …yeah I said something bad to Christine.

DarogathePersian: What happened HOMIE?

Angelofmusic: I said she was old…and would you STOP talking like that!

DarogathePersian: Duuudddee…that's HARSH! And talkin' like wat?

Angelofmusic: OMG…shit now I'm talking like you.

DarogathePersian: I DON'T GOT WAT YOUR SAYIN' TRIPLE MEAT GROGGY ASS HOME SKILLET!

Angelofmusic: OMFG! I'm out.

_Angelofmusic is now away._

DarogathePersian: Happens every time! Ugh. 65 year old men with bags under their bags under their eyes can be kool too!

**A/N: I hope you liked that chapter! Not the longest but you know… it's hard OK! Don't pressure me! Ok anyways R&R PLEASSEEE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Sorry to keep you waiting but I think I can update sooner and quicker now because I had to cut out two stories because I wasn't updating any of my stories quick enough. So for my people who read this...do not fear I should be updating alot quicker! :D So now without further ado i give you...PARODIES!**

**PARODY TIMEEEE!**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Erik:Fuck you,fuck you,fuck you,your cool!fuck you,fuck you and FUCK YOU RAOUL.

Christine: Why do you always do that?

Erik:Don't be dissin' me I said your cool you should be happy!

Christine:Ow,my hip!

Erik: HAHAA! What? Your not hip!

Christine:-_-

Erik:heehee...

Christine:Hey atleast I don't try to get girls by stalking them through mirrors.

Erik:Hey! I quit last year! So joke's on you!

Christine:And I don't get boners!

Erik:*looks down* shit...

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**IM TIME!**

Pompousprissy380:Heyyyyyy

NO. Don't even start with me.

Pompousprissy380:WTF?

Angelofmusic:MY GOD JUST GET OUT!

Pompousprissy380:Way to be.

Angelofmusic:o...m...G! Meg just like totally said my mask was 'hot'!

Angelofmusic:oops...wrong IM! So sorry!

Pompousprissy:...LMAO

_Angelofmusic is now away; Reason:Gay pride sensitivity._

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**Wanna know who Angelofmusic was TRYING to IM?**

Thinkofme255:Heyy

Angelofmusic:What?

Thinkofme255:That's just another way of saying 'hi'.

Angelofmusic:Ohh...

Thinkofme:What's up?

Angelofmusic:Not much just composing music. youu?

Thinkofme255:Just chillin'.

Angelofmusic:NO WAY!

Thinkofme255:What?

Angelofmusic:JUST GET OUT I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!(a/n:that was meant for raoul if you got confused)

Thinkofme:EXCUSE ME?

_Angelofmusic is now away; Reason:Gay pride sensitivity._

Thinkofme255:Well that was really messed upp. He will be getting it from me when I drag his ass over here! :(

**A/N:Sorry it was really short I have to goto cheerleading practice right noww. byeee! R&R PLEASSSEEE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:Heyyy!now that i took two of my stories out since i couldnt handle four stories i can update faster! and for me these are easy to make and they give everyone a good laugh so i update it even more often! pleas R&R! :)(disclaimer:i do not own phantom at all!)**

IM TIME!

**(Carlotta)**Leadsinger: Hello,skank.

Angelofmusic:EXCUSE ME?

Leadsinger:You heard me! SKANK!

Angelofmusic:Want that comment with punjab now or later?

Leadsinger:O_O

Angelofmusic:You heard me,just run along now.

Leadsinger:What if i don't want to?

Angelofmusic:Then i punjab you. so your choices are either 1 die or two gtfo.

Leadsinger:Can i make-up a third option?

Angelofmusic:NO! NOW JUST GTFO!

Leadsinger:BUT I DUN LIKE THAT OPHSUN!

Angelofmusic:punjab it is...

Leadsinger:what? YOUR AT MY HOUSE! HOLY SHIT GTFOOOO!

Angelofmusic:That WAS an option my dear. but you screwed it up.

Leadsinger:HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?

Angelofmusic:Haha this is just Christine.

Leadsinger:*Pushes Carlotta out of way* CHRISTINE! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! I AM A GHOST AND ILLUSIONIST! NOT A SUCKY MAGICIAN THAT PULLS RABBITS OUT OF HATS!

Angelofmusic:oops...

**parody!:)**

Raoul:Snowflake! away!*horse goes to cemetry*

Christine:Raoul?

Erik:betcha 50 francs he will fall of that horse.

Raoul:It's a UNICORN! AS YOU CAN SEE MY UNICORN HAS A HORN!

Erik:You mean a stick taped to his forehead.*stick falls off 'unicorn'*

Raoul:DAMNIT!

Christine:I ACCEPT THE BET!

Erik:fine.

Raoul:Don't fall off,don't fall off,don't fall off!*sweats*

Christine:DON'T FALL!

Raoul:*thud*

Erik:Knew it.

Christine:shit...

Raoul:*whimpering*sorryy Christine...

Christine:*pulls out wallet* fuck you Raoul.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**more Iming!:)**

(Andre)Scrapmetal:Heyyyy.

(Firmin)Richhobo:heyy.

Scrapmetal:What's up.

Richhobo:nmu

Scrapmetal:NO!

Richhobo:what? it just means 'not much you?'

Scrapmetal:oh i thought it meant 'no more unicorns'.

Richhobo:-_-

_Richhobo is now away._

**A/N:PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!:D I would love it if you reviewed! reviews keep me happy and keeps Erik from punjabing anyone!**

**I made this thing where each day I will write a qoute in my ending A/N! Here is the first one!**

**"It's a matter of condom sense!"**

**-Erik**


	5. Chapter 5: GAMESHOW SPECIAL PART 1!

**A/N:I hope you guys have liked my previous chapters! I hope you all like THIS chapter too because…IT'S A SPECIAL GAMESHOW CHAPTER! (for Halloween):D *applause* ok so please please please R&R! I would really appreciate it!**

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**Game show time!**

Hostess(me): Welcome to 'The Phantom of the Game-show! I am your host JudgePhanSexy! You may call me JPS for short my fellow contestants! Now let me introduce our contestants!

Hostess: First we have a 34 year old man that loves to 'Punjab Lasso' people or so he calls it and harass people of the Paris opera house, Erik!

*ground-breaking applause, shouts and whistles*

Hostess: Next we have an opera singer at the Paris opera house that was burnt down but was built! Ergo! Opera singer! We have lovely Christine!

*roaring applause*

Hostess: We also have with us here tonight, he is Erik's best friend and he calls himself Daroga… Nadir!

*loud applause*

Hostess: We also have a middle-aged woman who saved Erik's life and is very unique…Madame Giry!

*loud applause*

Hostess: Next we have a cutie opera dancer, Meg!

*applause*

Hostess: These people are both on the same team, they are the managers of the Paris opera house, Andre and Firmin! *Andre and Firmin walk out and Andre trips*

*laughter and roaring applause*

Hostess: And finally we have a fop that won Christine's heart and TOOK HER AWAY FROM ERIK LIKE THE LITTLE JERK HE IS PRANCING AROUND LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL!

*roaring boos and taunts*

Hostess: No drinking on set Raoul.

Raoul: And why not? *takes another gulp of whisky*

Erik: Drunken fop…

Raoul: Hey I heard that!

Erik: That's why I said it LOUD!

Hostess: OK THEN let's start the game-show!

Hostess: Alright the way this works is I say a word and you have to say another word back at me as fast as you can earning points for yourself!

Raoul: I don't get it…

Hostess: -_- Oh this is going to be one long game…

Hostess: Now pick your color stand!

Christine: DIBS ON PINK!

Meg: DIBS ON PURPLE!

Erik: black! :D

Daroga: green!

Madame Giry: blue!

Raoul: NO FAIR! OH wait there is orange that's a good thing because Halloween is soon and this is a Halloween special!

Meg: It is? *looks around* ohhhhh…that's why a mummy came into my dressing room and scared the shit out of me!

Hostess: Oh speaking of that we had a hidden camera in your dressing room. We planned that. Now Let's watch it on the TV!

Erik: The what?

Hostess: You'll see! *turns on TV*

_**-On the TV-**_

Meg: *singing* Somewhere over the rainbow *brushes hair*

Mummy(hostess):*Opens door slowly*

Meg: Hello? *doesn't look over*

Mummy:*creeps up behind Meg* BLEHHH!

Meg: HOLY SHIT!

Mummy: *laughs hysterically* HAHAHAHAA! YOU JUST GOT OWNED!

Meg:*whimpering and crying* That wasn't nice!

**-**_**End-**_

Audience: LMAO

Contestants: HAHA WHAT A WIMP!

Raoul: IKR!

Erik:*creeps behind Raoul* Boo.

Raoul: *screams* AAAHH! *falls off stage*

Christine: Owned.

Hostess: You ok Raoul?

Raoul: no…

Hostess: Good! Now lets start the show! Go to your stands and we can start!

**A/N: Well I hope you liked part 1 of the game-show Halloween special! There is more to come really soon! :D PLEASE R&R! **


	6. Chapter 6: GAMESHOW SPECIAL PART 2!

**A/N:first of all I am sorry that I haven't updated in a while! I had freshman cheerleading tryouts. Second i don't own phantom! third I didn't do a quote of the day last chapter so I will post 2 at the end! and last but not least enjoy the chapter!**

_After the gameshow starts..._

***if you don't remember the way the gameshow works is the hostess blurts something out and the first person to say something gets points!***

Hostess: Chocolate cake on Saturday!

Erik: For your own amusement!

Hostess: That's CORRECT! 200 points!

Hostess: Wallie-world butter!

Christine: It's nobody's!

Hostess: CORRECT! 100 POINTS!

Raoul: WTF! THIS GAME MAKES NO SENSE!

Hostess: Shut up you fop!

Raoul: -_-

Hostess: This is for 1,000 points! SWIMMING SUIT WITH A NUMBER 1 AND MELONCHOLY SLAW!

Raoul: WHAT THE HELL?

Hostess:INCORRECT -100,000 POINTS!

Raoul:But it- I just- UGH!

Daroga: NO FLOPPERS TEUSDAY RANCH ON IT'S FRIED SIDE!

Hostess: CORRREEEECCCTTTTT! 1,000 POINTS!

*applause*

Hostess: And to end the showw...I give you the last question! Daroga:2,377 Christine:100,668 Meg:6,896 Madame Giry:17,354 Raoul:-3,687,964 and Erik: 501,897 points! This last question is for the Jackpot! whoever gets this right is the WINNERRRR!

*loud applause*

Hostess: STIFF BUNS SEAWEED WITH MACCY HOOCHY CRACK ON JUNE BATTER UP BALLS DOWN FLIPPY FLOPPER RACE AROUND TOWN!

Erik: WINNER GOTCHA YOU ALL WANT IT BUT ONLY ONE GETS IT ON A WEDNESDAY OF THE YEAR 2018 WITH GASOLINE AND A SIDE OF HAPPY SAUCE!

Hostess: WINNER! WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

Erik: WOOOOOOOHHOOOOOO!

*VERY LOUD APPLAUSE,WHISTLES AND SHOUT OUTS WHILE CONFETTI COMES DOWN AND A GIANT CHECK IS HANDED TO ERIK WITH THE AMOUNT OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS!*

Hostess: Congratulations Erik! Where are you gonna go now that you have won 'The Phantom of the Gameshow'?

Erik:I'm going to Hawaii with Christine!

Christine: WOOT! SURFS UP! :D

**A/N: I hope you like that quite exciting chapter! Now for my two 'quote of the day's!**

**"WHO HAS A BONER?" -Gerry Butler**

**"No hoochy momma shirts Christine!" -Erik**


	7. The final chapter:CINEMA TIME!

**A/N:This...this is my last chapter guys.:( BUT it doesn't end here!Once I have the time for it I will be making a sequel to this! Please sit in your seats facing the screen!Grab some popcorn and some soda because it's CINEMA TIME! So please turn off all electrical devices please don't smoke,thank you for your cooperation.**

**Erik:The cinema screen is off!:)**

**Christine:She had meant everything but OUR electrical devices Erik!**

**Erik:Ohh...*turns lights back on***

**Ok let Cinema Time begin!**

Movie screen audio(MSA):Now that you have arrived to the theatre 10 minutes early you get to watch movie previews!

Erik:UGH!

Christine:Calm down,you'll be fine!

Daroga:I HATE PREVIEWS!

MSA:*Ten minutes later*Now that you have watched 15 previews in a row,you may watch the movie!

Erik:FINALLY!

Everyone:SSSHHHH!

MSA:The Phantom of the Opera-PG-13 Parents/Gaurdians strongly advised

Meg:I don't need no parent or gaurdian!

Madame Giry:You can hold my hand if you get scared Meg.

Meg:MOTHER! UGH!

Everyone:SSHHHH!

*30 minutes after the movie has started at 'Think of Me'

Raoul:Gotta go take a shit,be right back.

Christine:But i'm singing Raoul!

Raoul:But I REALLY have to take a shit!

Christine:Fine...

*20 minutes later at MOTN*

Daroga:What were you DOING in there?

Raoul:Let's just say when you eat a bucket of french fries,it has to come out the other end sometime.

Daroga:That's GROSS!

Erik:*staring at screen with wide eyes*Woah...I can't believe I felt you up THAT much...sorry Christine...

Christine:No it felt good...

Raoul:Christine!UGH!

Christine:What?Can't a guy touch another woman...alot?

*10 minutes later when Christine wakes up*

Daroga:Where the hell did her stockings go?

Erik:Uhh...

Christine:Yeah we uhh...sorta...

Daroga:EW!

Erik:Why else would they be missing?And why do you think I put her on one side of the bed?

Christine:You should have known it as soon as you saw it Daroga.

Raoul:WH-WHAT IS THIS?

Everyone:SSHHH!

Christine:exactly.

*All I ask of You scene*

Christine:Why? Why did I ever pick you? Your not even attractive or anything!

Raoul:Hey!

Everyone:SHHH!

Raoul:Jesus christ...calm down people!

*unmasking scene in Point of no return*

Christine:Aww...i'm so sorry!

Erik:It's ok...

Raoul:HAHA!

Everyone:SHUT UP!

Raoul:Shutting up now...

*ring scene*

Christine:You loved me so much! Why am I such a bitch! *blows nose*

Erik:*wipes tears* I-t's ok...but...*kneels down on one knee* Will you marry me now?

Christine:YES! YES I WILL!

Everyone:aww...

Raoul:But your married to ME!

Christine:Not anymore SUCKA!*tosses Raoul's ring off*

Daroga:Win...major win.

*after movie ends Erik is holding Christine's hand*

Christine:Well that was fun!

Daroga:That's what she said...

Christine:Oh shut up!

_**The End**_

**A/N:For now...that is the end! I hope you all enjoyed this story and please do R&R!:) thank you and have a great night! Oh and Now..for the quote of the STORY!:D**

**Erik:Yummy.**

**Classic right? lol well I hope that made your day...night...afternoon...whatever time of day it is while your reading this! Ok byeeee!:)**


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